EMT
by FictionRiot
Summary: Well? Here's a crazy story that may or may not have happened to Anubis. He became an EMT.
1. Pilot

"I want to become an ambulance driver." A stern voice said. The receptionist was buried in his own work and wasn't looking at the person very rudely demanding him to stop doing his work and pay attention to him. "Excuse me sir, but you are going to have to go to sit down in one of the waiting chairs." He said, not looking up from his papers. There were a few hard pounds against the linoleum floor and then a slow creak and a sigh. The receptionist looked up from his papers for a brief second to see who had so courteously interrupted him. And there, looking at the ceiling, was a lost in thought Anubis. The receptionists eyes widened slowly as he gawked at the deity. Anubis caught him in the corner of his eye and brought his head back down. The receptionist was but only eyes and hair to the customer, and he knew that. But it was still scary. He had just turned Anubis away, what could he tell him now. He still had work to do but-

"Excuse me."

No.

"Excuse me sir."

Stop.

"I thought you had something to do."

"I don't anymore." He giggled nervously, "All done! Lol."

"Lol?"

The receptionists smile died. _No shoes no shirt no service kick him out._ "Um, sir?"

_Do it_. "Yes?"

"What is it that you need?" _You missed your chance_.

"I need you to tell the EMT's or whatever that I am on their team now. I will drive the truck and make siren noises with the buttons."

"Well, do you have like…" He didn't know how to do this but he had to somehow. "A certificate or something."

"No."

The no was terrifying. "Well then thats okay. Could you give me your name and I can look you up in the system?"

"Anubis."

_That's it?_ "That's it?"

"Yes."

The receptionists tried looking up his name in the hospitals data base. And yes actually there was one result. "So I see you have an MD in cryonics?"

"Yes."

"And you have been in school for…" He squinted,"124 years?"

"Yes."

The receptionist didn't know what he had expected. "Uh…" He let out a loose raspberry. "Go talk to Booker on floor five. Take the west wing elevator up and uh." He looked at Anubis up and down, "Watch out for security guards."

"What's he look like."

"You'll see him."

Anubis broke his character and shrugged. The receptionist watched him mosey away, making a move for nonexistent pockets, then putting his hands back by his sides. If ? was an emotion it would be what he receptionist would be feeling.


	2. Episode 1

Anubis stepped out of the elevator and into the west wing floor five. Booker looked over his clipboard and saw the god. His hands let go of the clipboard and grabbed his chest. The clipboard hit the ground, rattling. Anubis stepped on it on his way to the creature.

"Are you Booker?"

"Yes, I am." He stood tall, broadening his shoulders and looking Anubis straight in the eye. "What about it." It wasn't a question, growling is never a question.

"I'm here to become an EMT, drive an ambulance."

"Excuse me sir those are two different jobs. You have to have two licences to do both."

Condescension.

"I can- I was warned of your arrival. I see you're a doctor and were previously an EMT. Look," he got right up to anubis' shoulder, which was a close to his ear as the 5'9 Booker could get. "They told me to just take you with me. I'm not gonna like it, but you're comin' next time we get a call. Until then, code 7." He walked to the elevator call button, Anubis turned around to watch him.

"Where, who, we need to go now." Anubis said, monotonously. Booker called an elevator up.

An elevator whirred open "Lunch greenhorn. Put on the uniform and join me in the cafeteria," Said as he stepped into the elevator. Anubis made a move to join him, but Booker put his hand up. "You stay here until the next elevator comes, I'm sure you would kill the elevator." He looked Anubis up and down, just like the receptionist. He slammed on the door close button until the doors whirred shut again.

"That was rude." Anubis said as he pounded towards the elevator call button. He put his head up the the elevator that Booker had taken down to the cafeteria and tried to listen for the _ding_ that indicated arrival. He slapped the call button and waited anxiously as the elevator slowly climbed up its hallway, and whirred open again. Anubis padded in and hit all the buttons. Naturally, the elevator went down, dropped Anubis off, and completely ignored his request. He looked around, people were busy. Nurses and doctors speeding around, some people strolling down to the exit, and someone coming out of the bathroom. Anubis stopped her, "Where is the cafeteria?"

She was in a hurry, and didn't look at the person talking to her, "Down the hall to your left."

"There are two halls."

"The one I'm not going to."

She left down the hall leading to the exit, Anubis watched and went in the other direction. "Cafeteria." He muttered to himself, looking at the giant sign above him, placing his hands on his hips. There were words and arrows telling where the words were. "How am I going to go up, there is a ceiling." He said, loud and booming. A few people looked at him for a while before looking away and continuing with their days.

Booker looked at his Tommy Hilfiger watch. 12:17 it spat back at him in Roman Numerals. Only a few minutes before he could go back to work, and that black skinned dog still ain't here. _That's not racist right_? No. He is literally black skinned, Booker. _Yeah I know but some people don't know that. _"Stop talking to myself." He said, gripping his coffee, then quickly releasing it. He got it in a paper cup, why he didn't know. He liked his coffee hot but his hands were sensitive, so this was really no a good decision on his part. He bared his teeth and supported his head on his left hand. _Isn't it weird that only a small percentage of people have right brains. It's so cool I get to be part of that. Fuck scissors though. _His train of thought was interrupted by the slow creaking of the chair opposite of him. It was Anubis.

"I see you made it." Booker said, condescendingly.

"Why are you looking at your watch?"

Booker looked under the table, Anubis' knees were lifting it up. And- "I can see your boxers."

"That was unnecessary."

"How tall are you buddy?" Booker bit his lip and lifted an eyebrow.

"Two hundred and twenty-three centimeters."

Booker thought for a second. "Seven foot four huh? Jesus." He brought the coffee up to his mouth.

"How do you drink your coffee." Anubis said, trying to start a conversation. Booker stopped drinking.

"Like my men." He paused to take another sip. "Black."

Anubis smirked.

"Oh my god." Booker's tone lightened, "You got that reference?"

"Of course I did."

He did not get the reference.

"I guess you aren't such a jackass after all." He took another sip of his coffee and walked away, leaving Anubis in the cafeteria by himself.

"See you tomorrow tenderfoot." Booker said as he passed through the exit door.

Anubis looked at his feet.


End file.
